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Never Won Anything in Your Life? Now’s Your Chance, Nancy
by Roger White Ah, my fellow life travelers, sometimes the gods smile. Sometimes they merely grin. Other times they smirk or give you that suspicious kind of offhand stare that makes you think you...
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Have I Got a Contest for You. Haven’t I?
by Roger White Calm down, people. I hear you. I want you to know that Spouseman pays attention. Of late, I have been completely inundated with an e-mail asking when I was going to run another...
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‘To Sir, With Desire’ or ‘A Streetcar Named Love’
by Roger White I can’t tell you how outrageously enthusiastic the response was from Spouseman’s latest reader contest. Actually, I can tell you, but I won’t. And you can’t make me. I will tell you,...
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Looking for Just an Ordinary, Average Scholarship
by Roger White I am an average guy. I live in an average house, and I have an average family with an average dog and cat. Mind you, my wife and two girls are the finest specimens of human beauty and...
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Well, Hit Me with an Anvil–It’s Contest Time Again
by Roger White OK, OK, you don’t have to klonk the Spouseman over the head with an anvil. Speaking of, you don’t see too many anvils these days, do you? Think about it. When, in your daily comings...
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A Mighty Wind Cometh (from an Empty Caveth)
by Roger White Never let it be said that the Spouseman ignores his readers. I recently checked my inbox and found myself inundated with an e-mail, which lamented the fact that I haven’t tested you guys...
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Get Pa Out of the Fruit Cellar–It’s Mashup Time Again
by Roger White Simmer down. Simmer down, people. I know very well that it’s been months since I’ve indulged you with a Movie Mashup contest. And I know that you know, based on the influx of cards and...
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Commence Ye Festivities, Followers: It’s Find the Fib
by Roger White Ah, yes. It’s just about that time again, my anthrax-addled adherents. No, I’m not referring to Be An Angel Day—although August 22 is official Be An Angel Day. If you’re unfamiliar...
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Clang the Clangers! It’s Contest Time Again!
by Roger White Either I’m having a patella-buckling, spleen-expanding, koala-slapping case of déjà vu, or I’ve written all this before and am now simply too addled to recognize it, but here goes: You...
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Breaking News: Reader Response Goes Way Beyond Whelming
by Roger White Well, if I’d known this many of you guys were into words and word games, I would have long ago stopped trying to entertain and enlighten you with tales of the excruciating silliness...
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OK, Cowpokes, Time for the Fifth Biennial OFPhC
by Roger White I know what half of you are saying: You’re saying, “Well, there it is. He’s run out of material again. Despite the ridiculous wealth of silliness, brain-scrambling absurdities, and...
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Spot the Spurious. That is, Find the Fake.
by Roger White Ah, my catatonic cohort, I know many of you have been waiting with bated breath (and yes, it’s bated breath; “baited breath” would involve halitosis of the earthworm variety) for the...
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Phil at the Alamo and Starbucks on the Moon. Really.
by Roger White So have you been reading lately about the papyrus scroll uncovered by some Harvard professor a few years back? The prof claimed this scroll proved that Jesus had a wife. Yeah. There...
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That’s Right, I Invented Tokémon Woah.
by Roger White It hit me—almost literally—the other day just how pervasive this Pokémon Go craze is when my daughter yelled at me to stop the car (in the middle of the road, mind you) as I was...
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